


Ache

by bisexualreina



Category: The Fall (TV 2013), The X-Files
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Dana Scully, F/F, PTSD, Trauma, bisexual stella gibson, mention of violence, migraines, post season 3 finale of the fall, post season 9 finale Scully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27520861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualreina/pseuds/bisexualreina
Summary: Trigger Warning: Description of Stella's attack, ptsd, trauma, and physical side effects of that.
Relationships: Stella Gibson & Dana Scully, Stella Gibson/Dana Scully
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Ache

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Description of Stella's attack, ptsd, trauma, and physical side effects of that.

The apartment had been dark when Scully slipped in, sliding her shoes off the minute she heard the front door click shut, sliding a hand through her hair that had been pinned back with two butterfly clips, massaging her tense scalp as she wandered into the kitchen.

Her stomach turned at the sight of cold marinara sauce sitting in a saucepan, soggy noodles that had lost their firmness, nearly dissolving in the salted water, and a kettle whistling angrily towards the ceiling. She felt her breath hitch as she hastily pulled the nearly explosive metal teapot off of the stovetop, turning everything off before immediately looking around the corner. Stella was always a tidy chef, diligent and neat while preparing them both meals, their schedules working out that she managed to make it home nearly an hour before Scully, giving her the time.

This was unlike her and it worried Scully. She called out for her fiancé and wandered down the short hallway towards the bedroom, noticing the curled figure atop her bed, on what Stella had claimed as her side. She could feel her heart rate slowing as she approached the bed, noticing that Stella was still clad in her white blouse from work, her pencil skirt still tightly zipped up the back. A pillow was pressed over her face and Scully could make out painful whimpers, causing her to instantly reach a hand towards her partner’s back, making her jump and groan even louder.

“Sorry.” Scully immediately apologized towards the older woman, brushing a strand of her vibrant hair behind her ear that was blocking her vision to better asses what was happening. As she stepped around the bed she realized that Stella had been sick over the side of the mattress, the sight making the blonde curl even farther into herself out of embarrassment.

“I threw up.” She cried, refusing to move the pillow away from her face as the curtain crept open, still hooked on the edge of the dresser, allowing the stunning sunset into the bedroom. Scully noticed how Stella curled away from it, her body wincing at every footstep, movement, and sound, along with the mess on the floor.

“That’s okay.” Scully whispered, silently pulling her jacket off, leaving her just in a navy sweater and black pants, comfortable enough to help her soon to be bride feel better. Once the curtain was adjusted to darken the room, old towels were procured and swiftly cleaned up the mess from her _thankfully_ hardwood floors, letting the bleach cleaner set before wiping it up with ease.

“Stell, what hurts?” Scully whispered, running a hand up and down her arm to try and ease whatever was ailing her. She knew that Stella suffered from horrific period cramps, but she never reacted like this, so sensitive to every sensation surrounding her. The blonde just shuddered and allowed Scully to pull the pillow away, revealing the soaked front of her blouse from sweat, her hair curling around her face. She flinched at the remaining light that filtered in, the buzzing of the air conditioner, and the slight movement.

“Head, neck, above eyes.” She managed, pressing her heels of her hands into her eyes, Scully watching as tears fell down her cheeks, her symptoms telling her that she was most likely suffering from a migraine.

“Sick- again!” Stella groaned urgently, however unable to move from her position. Scully instinctively grabbed the bin and lifted her partner with one arm, securely holding it under her clammy chin. With whatever nimble doctor instinct she possessed, Scully was climbing behind the ill woman, using her chest to keep her upright, her free hand now gathering her blonde curls into a twist.

She could feel how each heave of her body sent jolts of pain up the base of her neck, sending tears down the corners of her eyes as she finished, barely expelling anything into the garbage. 

“Okay, all done. Shhh.” Scully whispered, feeling Stella’s muscles give out as she attempted to curl into her fiancé’s grasp, nearly writhing in the agony that this migraine was causing her. Dana just frowned sadly and laid her back against the cushions, causing her blue eyes to fly open frantically, searching for Scully’s presence.

“Relax, I’m going to get a few things to hopefully stop this.” She assured, rubbing her partner’s hand and planting a quick kiss onto her temple before exiting to the kitchen. She immediately pulled the freezer drawer open and gathered the gel mask that was purely for aesthetics, but in this moment she knew it would come in handy, along with a rubber ice pack that she began to fill with all of the cubes from the tray.

She remembered that she had been gifted Excedrin at a conference for pharmaceuticals, grabbing the bottle along with a large jug of water and electrolyte drink. She avoided rushing back in, knowing how sound affected those who suffered from these, silently making her way back into the room.

“Stella, I have medicine for you, now I know that your pain is bad right now and it’s making you throw up, so try and relax your body to keep it down.” Scully instructed softly, passing the pills over for her partner to place on her tongue before offering her the drink.

“Small sips.” She reminded, but Stella was already limiting her intake, passing it back once the medication was consumed. Scully watched her try and relax, taking her hand into her lap and pressing down on a spot on her wrist, the pressure almost painful for the blonde who just gasped at the feeling, some of the pain ebbing from her skull.

“Pressure points.” Scully explained shortly, strapping the ice pack mask onto Stella’s face, the cold sensation prickling her skin, distracting her momentarily as Scully slipped the other ice back under her neck.

“I think it’s starting to help.” Stella groaned, some of her color barely flushing as her limbs began to slightly relax. Scully smiled in response and squeezed the hand that Stella was now holding, her skeletal hands cold in her warm ones. “I’m glad, this seems to be bad.” Scully frowned, her partner nodding slowly as her medication acting faster than she had anticipated, her breathing easing up as she sighed out a hearty breath.

“They normally are, the flashes were bad this time.” Stella mentioned softly, her eyes flashing over at the redhead guiltily, slightly ashamed for not mentioning this before, but this ailment wasn’t one that she had been dealt from some higher being, this was a painful reminder, that normally sent her into waves of terror before speaking with Dr. Amber Garcia. She had gotten a better handle on coping on her own, trying to survive her days without letting him into her mind- but things were changing.

Stella never intended to fall madly in love with Scully. After her required leave of absence following the Spector case she had taken time to travel, to clear her lungs of all things, just her, a plane ticket, and endless possibilities to explore. So much of her life had been exposed, poked, and prodded following the case, harsh words to describe a woman simply trying to live as she pleased, do an exceptional job at her job, and make it out without too many bumps along the way. Finding Dana Scully in the theater that night was pure universe magic, their seats placed promptly beside one another, intermission conversations, and exchanged phone numbers swiftly turned into an intimate night that caught Stella off guard, this was not part of her plan.

Scully could feel the weight that her partner carried, their year together something indescribable- she had spent nearly a decade with a man, and it took her nearly that long to confess her feelings and sentiments, with Stella it just flowed out like honey. She watched as her eyes would droop with the sheer heaviness of it all, she had shared some of it with her, how the man that she despised so deeply had killed and done even worse than that, he had gotten to her and Scully could tell.

She never asked or probed, knowing that everything would unfold in time, and that she could support her with what she needed in the moments, and loving her wholeheartedly. 

“You’ve had these before?” Scully frowned, not out of anger or disappointment, but out of sheer sadness that her partner had been subjected to this agony once before. A nod was what she could manage, swiftly batting a tear away before pulling the ice pack off of her neck, fidgeting with it in her lap before glancing over at Scully who just patiently waited. 

“I haven’t told you everything about my time in Ireland.” Stella whispered, her throat getting lodged with a thick sob that was struggling to work its way out and all over Scully.

“That’s fine, remember we talked about this.” Scully reminded, but Stella just shook her head slowly and and breathed out shakily, a tear trailing down her face as she climbed out of the bed and over towards her drawers in the dresser, pausing momentarily before reaching in to retrieve a manilla folder that Scully had seen while the blonde folded laundry, moved items, and much more, the mystery of it’s contents now being revealed.

“I- I need to share with you what happened, but I don’t- if it’s too much just tell me and I will stop. I know you’re not my therapist, you’re my fiancé.” She shuddered, one hand gripping the dresser with all of her strength, making Scully’s eyes widen with fear as she rushed towards her, a steady hand landing on her trembling wrist and lingering for a moment before thinking about what to say in this moment.

“Stella, when I agreed to marry you, I agreed to all parts of you, I’m here for the good and the bad, for the easy and these painful bits. I might not have the answers that you may be looking for, but I’m here to love you, no matter what is in that folder.” Scully affirmed steadily, despite feeling everything but that.

She led them back towards the bed, both of them climbing on top, sitting face to face with the folder between the both of them, Stella’s hand protectively holding it closed. 

“Before I came home…” She began, already choking up at the memory, causing Scully to reach over for her hand, giving it a firm squeeze in support, locking her eyes with the love of her life. “If it’s too much for _you_ to share tonight…” Dana began, but the blonde shook her head at her and squeezed her hand back, taking a breath.

“Before Spector…died…earlier that morning I was interrogating him, both Tom and I.” She could barely whisper, the pure pain in her voice causing Scully’s eyes to well up at the shaking sound, now rubbing her thumb up and down the back of Stella’s hand.

“It was working, we had him- and we went to take a break…” She paused, the memory something that she struggled with in so many aspects, but the fear in this was something she wasn’t expecting, but it wasn’t uncommon, she was telling Scully for the first time, and that held it’s own weight.

“I got up to leave and he grabbed me.” She bit off quick, the words making Scully’s stomach twist, her hand now releasing the folder for her to go through, the thought of that now making her nervous.

“He hit me, god he was so strong-,” Her words now tears as Scully lifted the folder flap, revealing crime scene photos of Stella’s split eyebrow, blood splattered across her porcelain skin. Although her wound had only been a few inches long, Scully felt a hand cupping her mouth at the image, hurting her insides.

“He threw me across the room, against a wall, and when I fell he kicked me so hard I could hear my ribs break like…god like pencils.” Stella now sobbed, unable to remain composed in front of her partner, the feeling of helplessness washing over her in monumental waves. Scully could feel her own tears falling as she moved the folder away, unable to look at any more, crawling towards her partner who looked so incredibly shaken.

“Stell, I’m so sorry. God- I’m so sorry.” She whispered desperately, making her look up and choke out another sob, leaning into Scully’s embrace. The younger woman squeezed her tenderly, just enough for her to feel the pure love that she was trying to exert onto her with everything she had.

“How can I help? How can I support you?” Scully cried into blonde tresses, feeling her nearly melt into her body with each heaving sob that was soaking her navy sweater. She slowly rubbed a hand up and down her wheezing back, carefully pressing the discarded ice pack mask on her neck to try and soothe her physical pain.

“Just hold me when I need it. Tell me that this isn’t going to last forever.” She cried, her words making Scully nod in immediate agreement, pressing her lips against her temple while pulling her nearly into her lap to try and be a comfort during this time.

“It won’t always be like this.” Scully assured, trailing her fingers through the golden locks, a hand resting on her cheek, the pad of her thumb brushing lightly to try and comfort her.

“It won’t, I’m working very hard on it.” Stella revealed, as if she were trying to remind herself, the uncertainty and pain in her eyes properly splitting Scully’s heart down the middle.

“And I know it will be difficult for you to finally see past this…” Stella tried to rationalize, her inner voices coming out for Scully to hear, but she instantly shook her head at her and tilted her chin up so they were now staring at each other, the love in the redhead’s gaze causing more tears to fall.

“Nothing about loving you is difficult, Stella, no matter what happened. I’m here to stand by you and support you. Whatever I can do to help you feel better about all this, you let me know.” Scully instilled into the shaking woman who just sat silently in her embrace, allowing the steady sound of her beating heart to try and calm down.

“Maybe if you came to a counseling session? You don’t have to say anything, it’s just hard for me to come up with thoughts on the spot about all this, I normally journal down what I want to talk about, just so you know how all this…affects me right now? You don’t have to stay the whole time, Dr. Garcia can make it a special session with you in the beginning, I still enjoy my time one on one.” Stella suggested, clearing her throat before lowering her eyes from the woman who loved her so deeply.

“I can do that.” Scully agreed, softly cupping her cheek with a hand, pressing a tender kiss against her lips, letting it linger for a moment before pulling away, pressing her cheek on top of her head.

“I love you Stell.” Scully breathed, both of them taking a moment to regroup from their conversation, just sitting in the silence for a moment. 

“I love you too, Dana. Thank you for listening.” Stella responded, placing a tired kiss onto Scully’s collarbone, the only piece of her accessible from the way they were sitting.

“Thank you for sharing that with me.” Scully replied, unsure of what to do next, her appetite was gone, and her soul felt weary as she held her fiancé close in her arms.

“Can we sleep now?” Stella asked as if she was reading Scully’s sentiments, both women now slipping under the covers, clothes and all. The folder was placed carefully on the dresser, to be addressed at another time, but for now it needed to reside there for the both of them to get some rest.

They faced each other until their hands found each others, Stella’s glassy eyes visible through the darkness of the room as they struggled to dry out from the flooding moisture that was engulfing them.

“I’ll be here with you, all night. If you feel like I’m not just give my hand a squeeze to remind yourself.” Scully suggested, but Stella was still quiet, her mind racing as she struggled to verbalize what she was feeling.

“I don’t want you to see me differently, to patronize me. People told me I’ll come out stronger because of this, and I think I’d just die if you saw me like that.” She winced, her eyes pinching shut as she let her words linger in the air.

“Don’t credit your strength to this, yeah you are a survivor and I am so proud of you for that, but this wasn’t some sick rite of passage to make you a strong, resilient woman. You were strong and resilient before, and this had nothing to do with you _still_ being strong and resilient.” Scully nodded, feeling Stella squeeze her hand warmly. The sentiment ran deep, the way so many shared that similar patronizing, insulting feeling towards her and her own traumas that she had faced.

“Now can we sleep please? My migraine took it out of me.” Stella sighed, Scully now nodding at her before pulling the blankets higher to cover the both of them warmly.

“You know the drill…” Stella reminded, making Scully nod and smile softly at her wife who had a slight grin on her face before closing her eyes, no longer pinching them shut into a grimace, peacefully resting.

“Wake you if I need anything.” Scully breathed, making the blonde nod and unconsciously scoot closer before both women settled, regardless of the early hour of only seven in the evening, they both drifted off with the comfort of knowing the other was safely within arm’s reach, love abundant.


End file.
